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Titanic Made In Bollywood? |
Have you ever wondered what would be in "Titanic" if the same was made in "Bollywood"? The name of the movie would be "Goa to Bombay". Well here it goes ! 鈥adhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as JJJJJ JJJ Jack. Madhuri's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "Bad Man" everytime he sees Shahrukh. 鈥mitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's captain and would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party. Of course, he would not die. 鈥hahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other chamchas from college plus 50 extras who are well trained with every dance sequence in the world. 鈥he movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece of editing, there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of 30 in CD album. 鈥he ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally find in movies that have a court scene full of people or a slum full of aam-janta. The ship will start sinking, not because of the iceberg but because of excessive on-board population. 鈥he infamous lovemaking in the back seat of the car would be replaced with a song in the Swiss Alps. 鈥est friend of Shahrukh will save his sister from being raped during chaos. The sister will instantly fall in love right after this and she will also get a song or two. 鈥emember Rose changing her mind about jumping into the water? In our case, Madhuri changes her mind, since...since... the ship is moving along a creek and the water stinks ! 鈥ow can we forget the painting scene? Shahrukh would be painting Madhuri's portrait with Madhuri fully covered minus the locket (Censors yaar !). This is to be followed by a dance number, with extras of course, in a art gallery. 鈥hahrukh would eventually find his long lost mom Aasoo Devi on the ship. Only during the climax would Aasoo Devi tell Shahrukh about how Gulshan troubled them. Shahrukh would then yell, "Kutte mein tera khoon pee jaaoonga". The ensuing fight would only last for an hour. 鈥here would be an antakshari for the "drowners" conducted by Annu Kapoor instead of the trio playing the violin. 鈥ost important!! The number of times the word "Bachaoooo" would be yelled would be a record in the history of cinema. 鈥nd the masterpiece would be waste of time...ooops waste of money without... 鈥?quot;Raaaabert...Captain se ja ke kaho ke agar apni maa or bahen ko zinda dekhna chahte ho to naav ko Hindustaan kee sarhado se hamesha hamesha ke liye bahooot door le le..." (Pran's Dialog) it would be like this If the Titanic was made in India......... 1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship 2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain 3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya" 4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die in the first dip 5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson 6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees. And last but not least 7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserve for SC/ST/OBC u r absolutely rit...i agreeeeee cool idea i m wid u......but u shd take priyanka as rose and salman as jack. Sorry...just could not read more that a few lines! oooooooohhhhhh....i totally love the idea........ but i think there should be more........... 1)dont forget that even though jjjjjjjjjjack is poor he will support excellent dresses designed specially for him by karan johar. 2)and if there is a fiance for madhuri there should be fiance for shah rukh too......who will later 'sacrifice' her life to save rose and jack's life........ 3)at the end of the movies jack and his sister will be adopted by amitabh bacchan who will be know to have a soft corner for jack's mom and marry her. 4)the owner of the ship will adopt rose and marry her mom. (probably the scene cud be made more dramatic by -the owner filling 'maang mein sindur' just after the realization that the ship is going to sink.) 5)the architect of the ship cud turn out to be father of jack who left him and the family to become rich. in the end he will give his life to save his son and 'bahu' and will give them blessings for their new lives and ask for forgiveness from his wife and hand her over to amitabh bacchan. It is a very nice question and I think ASH should be as ROSE and ABISHEK as JJJJJJJack. Haaawh, please don't disturb me, i am about to continue my dream, what a lovely location it is, hey lot of choclates, cakes, ice creams in the dining table, and lot more. heeey! what's going on (smash, that, sphat) my god! i am sinking. Oh! what a bad dream. |
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