Oppinion on my work? coursework Jaws review?

As the first scene begins the camera moves to the side in a steady speed showing the people around the campfire enjoying themselves. All unexpectedly, young girl Chrissie gets up and makes her way down toward the pitch black ocean; Camera using a tracking shot to stay right behind her. Late at night, vulnerable, she gets in the water. Now camera shows her all alone in the ocean an extra long shot. Then using a point of view shot the camera moves underneath the water, and the non-diegetic sounds gently begin indicating the sharks arrival. This now starts to affect the viewers emotions. Camera moves close to her face as she gets tugged under a few times, the panic begins, tension building up, struggling to survive鈥?and then on the verge of climax the scene is changed. Switching back with the tension refilled, she holds on to the buoy giving us the satisfactory sigh that she is going to be fine. Then the screaming starts as the vigorous tugs begin and she is dragged under.

It's really good...we had to do something similar but with Baz Luhrmanns Romeo and Juliet...

If i were you i'd try to elaborate a bit more on certain bits although it's just a review i'd try to make it smaller but more compact with key events that happen and make them sound very interesting, so it almost seems like it's pulling the reader into actually wanting to know what's going to happen next...
Have the audience in complete Suspence

Love this movie- have seen it literally over 100 times. You may want to mention how the close up on Chrissy indicates that the viewer's emotions will transcend from anticipation to fear. I think this is the point at which the character and Chrissy both come to realize that she is pretty much a "goner." I like what you have written though.