How should I respond to this rude comment. Would youconsider this comment rude or abusive or both.?

My husband asked me to take pictures of some work he was doing in our shop. Our camera uses alot batteries. I knew we had other batteries available but he did not. We have digital camera so film is not problem. I snapped 3 more pictures after my husband warned me that the batteries where about to be depleted. I did this so that I could adjust the lighting and find the best angle. Before I could explain this to him and let him know I had other batteries he turned and looked at his father and said "SHE IS LIKE A BIG OLD DUMB DOG, SOME TIMES YOU HAVE TO KNOCK HER IN THE HEAD , TO GET HER TO DO WHAT YOU WANT". We have been married for 8 years. I normally storm out and say my peace.
I want to answer him intelligibly and with out emotion. Thank YOU!

Don't say anything just adjust the lighting and replace the batteries, go out there and take the pics. When you get the pics right leave the camera in front of him and walk away.

I would tell him, what you didnt have a chance to say about the batteries and let him feel the emotion ...emberassment, Personally i think he was just joking and that there is nothing to be mad about!!

Answer him? You shoulda knocked him up side the head and then let him take his own pictures. Why 8 years of this? You sure you just don't wanna storm out, after you pack up?

You could say, without emotion, 'You don't talk to women that way, you don't talk to anyone that way..'

Well honey this old dumb dog has some new batteries in the house and if you can hold you bad mouth a few minutes I will get them

Try, "When you said [quote him], I felt insulted. I would like an apology, and your promise to be more polite in the future."

I would very unemotionally and intellegently tell him if that is what he thinks of you, then he can just get a "big old dumb dog" and find somepleace else to spend a few days. If he gets a dog, send him divorce papers.

I think it was rude and crule to say this to you. My response to him would have been. If you wanted a dog why didnt you buy one and not marry me, Iam not the scum on the bottom of your shoe Iam your wife so treat me like your wife. And just walk away. I dont think you deserved that at all. Im so sorry. Good luck. ps Also buy a dog house and put him in it for a few days

I would have made the scooby doo noise " derrrrr " and then spoke like scooby saying... "Well shaggy -- i have more batteries right there but it's not dead yet... arrrr". Sarcasm and humor are always classic comebacks. You know you're not a big old dumb dog, so don't let his words get to you. Hugs!

Ok say this, in his face calmly, There are more batteries for the camera let me go get them. I do believe you owe me an apology for the big dumb dog comment, don't you think?
And if he refuses I would delete the pictures off the camera take all the batteries in the house and leave his big dumb @ss there to deal with it on his own

Id go with Emma on this one!
Nothing like a little bit of sarcasm to put someone in their place!
Either that or freakin knock him up side the head!

insulting his man hood is always a good way to go...

does it make you feel like a man to put me down? does this make you feel big?

or

well you cant be too good of a 'teacher' if i havent learnt by now. but hey, last time i checked dogs learnt better with treats and kind words than a kick over the head. positive reinforcement, anyone?

Us readers really probably need more of a context to better answer you - this statement as is seems pretty damning. But what was your husband's body language and tone of voice? Is this normal banter for your husband AND you - meaning is there a lot of give and take with razzing each other?

These are unknowns to me, but probably known to you.

But without knowing any of this, I will answer strictly on what you provided: I would never say this about my wife to anyone else because I think it is demeaning. I would never demean or insult anyone I care about like this. So I think you tell your husband you were insulted by this and that it will not be tolerated.

I would of shoved the camera up his azz......geez..........

Not only is it insulting and rude, it's abusive, too. Make it clear to him that this is NOT OK.

There's a chance he says stuff like this to his father to make himself seem more manly or whatever by dominating his wife and making her seem subhuman. He may not mean it as harshly as he says it, but the fact that he says it shows his lack of spine.

Be very, very firm with him. It's not necessary to explain that you had known about extra batteries and he didn't (this will seem like you are justifying the comment in certain situations) until the very end. Tell him you're not going to take this kind of abuse, that it's offensive, disgusting and completely unworthy of a grown man. Explain your feelings.

Good luck.

I would tell him if that is the way he feels, he can find a new assistant because you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity!

I got my own husband issues, but lets just say if he said that to me, I think the digicam would have been knocked on his head. Aside from responding to him in the best non-emotional way, I think you should confront him in a non-threatening way and have some words about the lack of respect he gave you. To do it in front of his family shows no respect to you and be honest with him about how you feel. He needs to apologise for his behaviour whether or not he was joking.

It sounds like he has no respect for you. That was just rude! If my husband had the nerve to say that to me, he would get it back ten fold. But I'm not you....so since you said "I normally storm out and say my peace", then this has happened many times before. You need to put a stop to these type of comments. Does the father-in-law makes these kind of childish comments to his wife? This shows a lack of respect and a lack of maturity.

even if it was a joke, it is COMPLETELY out of line.
i would have politely excused myself and left to go out... ignoring his plee to come back and help out.
if he demands an answer, politely tell him"this dog needs a walk." and go shopping, to the park or do anything u want, for the whole day. make him look like a moron.
i would have divorced an as*hole like that a long time ago. i hope he isnt teaching ur kids that it is ok to talk to someone like that.

If you guys have been married for 8 years, and he never said anything like this before, you need to stop it dead in its tracks, if not he will continue to say demeaning things like that to you. You should tell him that you felt insulted and that it hurt you and that you didn't appreciate it, and if you never talk to him like that, you should tell him that you deserve the same respect that you give him.

He sounds like a real winner??? You normally storm out ??? How many times are going to let this "man" talk at you this way. If you don't respond and give him a sense of your true feelings, pretty soon your entire relationship is going to be based on him talking down to you, instead of too you.

I would be upfront and honest with him and tell him to start treating you with some respect. Here is something I would expect my wife to say to me if I talked to her like that....

"Honey, considering I have extra batteries in the house and I want to take the best photo possible, you may want to consider that I am the one taking the photos and not you, so let me take care of the batteries, the lighting and getting done what you asked me to do for you and if you have an issue with how I do things, then next time you can do it yourself".

S h i t on sounding intelligent i would of be so mad at him i just would of said F U C K you you low life piece of s h i t .

i would tell him yeah and this dumb dog doesnt know where the other batteries are ,lay the camera down and say since you didnt hit me in the head hard enough i cant go get them or run the camera anymore either.then walk out.my husband would never say something like that about me in front of anyone,i wouldnt allow it.you are to be treated like his equal,not like that.

I would consider this comment rude AND abusive. Not to mention childish, ridiculous and selfish. If my husband ever talked to me or about me like that I would be so hurt I would probably consider divorce. Since you said you usually storm out and say your peace you have obviously lived with this kind of treatment in the past. That means a comeback or statement made to him will not change his behavior.

If I were you I would talk to him when you are both getting along and calmly tell him his insulting and abusive remarks are damaging your soul. You love him but you also love yourself and if he doesn't stop hurting you, you will leave him. If you tell him this calmly you may get him to take your words seriously and resolve to change. If he continues to insult and degrade you, you can see if he will agree to counseling. If not I would definitely leave. Nothing is worse than being degraded and humiliated by the person who is supposed to cherish you and protect you from harm.

Guess you could say to him, ( in a non threatening way , you wouldn't want to call the kettle black and sound as disrespectful to him as he did to you).... He should feel lucky that you're like an old dog. Otherwise there's no way on earth that you'd be loyal to a disrespecting husband like him. After all dogs are man's best friend :-)

Not quite the intelligent answer I'm sure you were looking for.. but I bet it gets an interesting reaction from him. Maybe he'll realize that your are loyal and loving to him despite his faults and he should be the same to you!

Unfortunately we all sometimes react before knowing all the facts to a situtation. Chalk this up as one of those little dumb moments in life and remember all the reasons you love your husband!

I'd of knocked the hell out of him and took numerous pics of the startled and embarrassed look on his face. Then I'd of turned the camera to his father and took pics of him too as he stood there looking dumbfounded.

Does he always respond this way? Yes, that was a form of verbal abuse. The surprising thing is, he did it in front of someone else...normally abusers don't lower themselves in front of others.

Stand your ground, girl. You have a voice. It doesn't have to escelate to an argument, but I'd let him know how those comments make you feel when he expresses them. If he tarts back with something to the effect of, "Oh you're making too big a deal out of this" or, "See! You can't take a joke" or, "All I did was ask you to do something simple, and you made a big deal out of nothing", then he's showing he could care less for your feelings. This is a REALITY 1 personality.

End the conversation on your own saying, "I do not like, nor do I appreciate the comments you make to me. You would NOT like it if I spoke to you that way. Do NOT speak to me that way again." I know, easier said than done sometimes.

If he continues to belittle you, alone or in front of others, then it's time to get some help. Find a therapist and hash it out in front of a therapist. Having a 3rd person there will (perhaps) be enough to show him he's abusive and it won't be tolerated.

Best of luck to you. Abuse is never a good thing.

I would have said,"At least this big old dumb dog is sleeping in the bed tonight. You get to sleep in the dog house."

He is quite a catch where did you find this one.If you could only point to the pet store,I would avoid it.Obviously this disrespect has been going on for quite a while in the relationship.why you take it is beyond me.Why do you think he tries to belittle you every chance he gets?.It is not a question of finding something smart to say back to him,it is more a quality of life issue.You should never bow your head in shame because you have nothing to be ashamed of.Do you have children? how does he treat you in front of them?Please go and find a Good counselor,You need to heal your broken soul.It is only then that you can see your husband for what he really is,A BULLY.