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Please revise or correct my grammar? |
Meet Melissa a 19-year-old from New York City. She's from a loving Greek family. Before modeling she was a high level competitive gymnasts for several years. If she has to describe the kind of photos she prefers; it would be classy and timeless types. Her passion and what drives her, is an incredible desire to capture the next look or the chance to get that "amazing shot." She loves to see how a photographer takes his idea and turns it into something amazing right before her eyes. My revisions pertain more to the style than grammar. Meet Melissa, a 19-year-old from New York City. She is from a loving Greek family. She was a high-level competitive gymnast for several years before she decided to sashay into the modeling ramp. She prefers photographs that fall into the classy and timeless genres. An incredible desire to capture the next look and to get that 'amazing shot' is the passion which drives her. She loves to see a photographer turn an idea into an amazing work of art, right before her eyes. Meet Melissa, a 19 year-old from New York City. She's from a loving Greek family. Before modeling, she was a high-level competitive gymnast for several years. If she had to describe the kind of photos she prefers, it would be classy and timeless types. Her passion and what drives her is an incredible desire to capture the next look, or the chance to get that "amazing shot." She loves to see how a photographer takes his ideas and turns them into something amazing right before her eyes. Meet Melissa, a 19-year-old from New York City. Put a comma after "prefers" instead of a semi-colon. Leave out "and what drives her;" it's redundant. Meet Melissa, a 19-year-old from New York City. She's from a loving Greek family. Before modeling, she was a high level competitive gymnast for several years. If she has to describe the kind of photos she prefers, it would be classy and timeless types. Her passion and what drives her, is an incredible desire to capture the next look or the chance to get that "amazing shot." She loves to see how a photographer takes his idea, and turns it into something amazing right before her eyes. i didnt spot many errors...many just commas... |
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