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Is it typical to have so much conflict between the bride-to-be and groom-to-be regarding DJ's, photographers, |
videographers, etc.? I thought usually the bride's family and bride took care of most of that stuff. My fiancee is not content with anything my parents come up with, and my parents are using family and friends as references for these services. We live about 8 hours away from my parents (where we are going to get married) and my parents have been doing all the running around, meeting with the photographers, videographers, reception hall places, etc. My fiancee works over 60 hours a week, commutes over 3 hours per day, hardly has time to eat his dinner before he had to go to bed, yet he still finds time to pick on the choices my parents have suggested. I am appreciating so much what they are doing for me, but the tension got so bad today between all of us, that my mom asked me if she should even continue to look for all these services, i.e., is there even going to be a wedding?? He is a Virgo, so he demands perfection, but this is getting to be too much. Usually you hear that the First of all the person who said that this your day and not his is wrong. This day is for the two of you, not just one of you. Second of all, you need to have a very long talk with your fiance. He is being completely unreasonable. Your parents are paying for this wedding and they deserve more respect and consideration than he is giving them. My husband used to trade light sweet crude oil in NYC and I know what you mean about the 3 hour commute. However, his work hours don't give him the right to be so critical of your parents. I don't care what his sign is, he doesn't have the right to be so nasty in the search for perfection. I recommend that you get premarital counseling because he doesn't sound very nice. I didn't even finish reading your question but I have an answer. That is your day! He can put some input on the situation but ultimately you are the one that has to be happy with the way things are, and you should have it however you want it. If he is not happy with it tell him to start doing some of the work himself and you can compare what he has to what your parents are coming up with and decide the best path to take. hopefully everything works out. I don't believe in horoscopes, but your Virgo sounds a lot like my ex-virgo. =) He doesn't care who's right, if its not his idea, it is wrong. He is totally consumed in his job and yet finds time to nitpick on things he really shouldn't care that much about. He wants everybody to be as perfect as he is. He is trying to make you chose beteween him and your family ;) I feel like I already know him. Seriously, though, this is a chance for you two to learn how well you resolve conflict under stress. Traditionally, whoever is paying for the wedding, has the final say. It is great that your parents are considering your opinion, but they are the ones forking the bill. I think there is a bigger problem here that he is not saying. Maybe he is having second thoughts and is just picking a fight to push you away. That is exactly what happened when marriage was mentioned (not by me) to my ex. That was when I realized I wanted to get married, but not to him. It was a shocking realization that he is better off by himself than with anyone, including me. I know I'm projecting a lot, but maybe you can learn from my experience. Best wishes. Personal experience. If it is causing you this much stress, do NOT get married. A young (I'm assuming) girl's wedding IS for her. We males just don't care, we'd rather be out golfing or flying or doing just about anything. That's why it's been tradition for the BRIDES family to pay and arrange everthing. I thank God I only had boys. You should just go to Vegas and come back and have a big party. I'm amazed at some of the questions in here. Do you not have friends to talk to? Must you rely on total strangers to spill your guts to? Good luck and God Bless. It sounds as if your Groom is a little mad that the situation is being taken completely out of his hands. This is his day too! Why are your parents planning his wedding? Maybe if the parents let you both plan and come up with the ideas AS A COUPLE, he'd calm down a bit. My groom would have gone mad if my parents planned his special day, so I don't blame your poor groom!! |
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