I CANNOT STAND MY MOTHER! Help?

My mother treats me bad; she doesn鈥檛 treat my sister bad. I want my mother to die. She thinks my sister is the best and I鈥檓 just a piece of crap. For example, whenever my sister and I have photo shoots (my mother loves to have many pictures in our family album), she says that my sister can pass as a model whereas I can鈥檛 take a simple picture without looking ugly. My mom always throws these insults at me like nothing when the photographer is taking pictures of my sister and me. She always says, 鈥淎lexa, let鈥檚 straighten up that neck, this isn鈥檛 a soup kitchen.鈥?Or sometimes she tells me, 鈥淕ive it up Alexa you look like a boy.鈥?Other times she tells me 鈥淎lexa why don鈥檛 you try to smile cuz sexy ain鈥檛 working for you honey.鈥?I always get embarrassed because a lot of people are watching me. I have told my mother to stop but she has told me that she鈥檚 not until I begin to act perfect like my sister.

My sister and I don鈥檛 get along. We鈥檙e always brawling because I hate her. Whenever I leave a huge scar on my sister鈥檚 face, my mom beats me up really hard like I鈥檓 some kind of punching bag. My dad鈥檚 in jail due to raping my sister. My school life sucks as well. I don鈥檛 have any friends because people think I鈥檓 a big fat loser. I don鈥檛 understand anybody. My life totally sucks. My mom never gives me anything because I鈥檓 not picture-perfect. She鈥檚 immature which I hate. What do I do with my life? I鈥檓 a sixteen-year-old girl who鈥檚 in 11th grade. Someone please help me!

First of all, I'm sorry to read about your situation. The best advice I can give is not one you will want to hear as it is quite hard to overcome the pain that you've endured now and in the past. Unfortunately, the only thing I can come up with is that you yourself have got to start making things better for yourself. Life is very tough and even tougher when you have nobody to really talk to or confide in but feeling sorry for yourself and moping about it is only going to make a really bad situation only worse. You're in 11th grade so you're still fairly young and have a lot of time to reflect on your future. I'm not saying you should get over it with a snap of a finger but instead of thinking about the past, think about the future. Pretty soon you will be going to college, possibly moving out and spreading your wings. Don't think that just because you don't have any friends in high school that your life is over. When you go off to college and hopefully live in a dorm, you will most likely meet lots of new people that doesn't know anybody either so in a sense, you can start a clean slate. As for why you don't have any friends right now, maybe it's because you yourself think that you're a "big fat loser." This isn't entirely your fault as you are being emotionally and verbally abused by your own mother, but if you want to really show your mom what's up, you've gotta be the one to shut her up. Success is the sweetest revenge. I know this sounds very cliche' and boring, but you've gotta study and keep educating yourself. That doesn't mean you have to be a doctor or lawyer or anything like that, but just explore and experiment to see what you're passionate about, work towards that and then eventually get a job, etc. If you educate yourself, you're only opening up more options for yourself. Don't limit yourself to the bare minimum, strive for the best cause after all, it is going to be for you and you deserve nothing but the best.
I understand that you can't simply ignore your mother and just move on, but start out with the little things first. For example, next time your mom or your sister makes you mad, don't let it get to you to the point where you get into physical altercations with your sister.
My heart really hurts for you because I can somewhat relate to your situation. My mom showed my sister more affection, people always put me down when I was young and like you, I used to get really depressed and felt so alone. It took quite a while for me to sort out my feelings and figure out what truly makes me laugh and happy but if I can overcome it, you sure can as well.
Good luck to you my dear and I wish you nothing but happiness and the best! =)

Honey, I'm sorry for what you're going through. No one deserves to be treated like this. My best advice would be to go talk to a trusted adult, counselor at school, or someone of authority- you don't deserve to be abused like this. Please don't hit your sister, as that will provoke your mom more.

tuff it out just 1 more year & graduate & then get your @ss outta there or talk to a counsellor @ school about getting you removed from your home sounds like your mom is over compensating your sisiter due to her guilt as to not seeing what was going on in front of her in her own house when your dad was raping your sister

That ain't good girl.

I hate my mom too. And she's a worthless player. I think she cheats on my dad but I can't prove it. She hates me too I think. At least she has never said nothin kind or nice to me and when she sees me I can see annoyance on her face.

Honestly I wouldn't cry at her funeral. I'm really serious.

So now that you know you ain't alone you gotta figure what to do about it. My first thought is a nice boyfriend. That may take a lotta time tho cuz that kinda stuff don't just pop up in your face. But you need to be lookin.

Maybe also you can stay away from home as much as possible and do the outta sight outta mind kinda idea. I do this with my mom and it works decently.

As for the school life, dunno whats goin on there. Why would they think you were a big fat loser? Need some info to get some ideas goin.

tell your mum to start acting with a little bit of maturity and like a proper mother and stop blaming you for ewhat are clearly shortcomings in herself.
get yourself a good eduacation with good qualifications aso you can get as agood job
then you can leave home and cut yourself off from her
make a success of your life - that is your best revenge

How did anyone find out about your Dad and your sister ? Somehow I think this is connected with why ur Mom may hate you. I think you need to find some serious relationships ourside your family and minimize the amount of time you spend with your mother or anyone else that does not treat you right. In your own mind you have to decide to leave this situation behind and find positive friends and environments where you can move your life forward away from this.
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If you are in high school, try to G.E.D. out and plan on continuing your education at a community college.

I think you should just be nicer to your sister because none of this is her fault or yours. Your mother wants both of you to be perfect by her definition which is the case with some mothers. This situation is about to be over as soon as you are out of high school so you should be thinking about your own apartment and a job or college and living in a dorm and building your own life. You have one more year to get through focus on your senior year - get with your counselor at school and your class president for ideas and move on from there. You obviously very strong minded so you will be okay as long as you accept your family for who they are and accept yourself.

I am not sorry your father is in jail. (he deserves it). Truthfully!

Your in the 11th grade, and soon to be a senior. No one is picture perfect, however, a photographer can make the uglies...look stunning.

The next time you go on a shoot, talk to your photographer. A photographer will work w/you. As for your mom...seems like she's feeling guilty about what your dad did to her, and she's putting all the attention to her. I would try and be there for my sister. She is the victim. About your weight, what's inside is important. Be yourself and finish school. Someday, those that call you loser, are sometimes those that you will see 5 to 10 yrs from now, having the worse life than you.

WOW....Im sorry you have to go throu that. It seems so unreal but I believe you..my life is pretty ****** up as well....stand up to your mom (not by yelling or screaming or cussing her out) but simply by telling her you dont appriciate her comments and dont want to hear them! They are not doing you any good but bringing your self esteem down. Be strong and firm when you say it. Even if you and your mom stop talking for a while, she'll hopefully realize why your having this hatred towards her, that you dont mind not talking to her if it means she'll shut up with her mean comments.

this is all your fathers fault and your mother is trying to make thing's right for your sister who must be going through hell after being raped, now this still is not your fault you have done nothing wrong but your mother is trying so hard to help your sister to forget, which she will never forget, you are the escape goat your mother needs to help get over this thing so where do you stand in all this ,so it seems nowhere I feel sorry for you, you have no one to comfort you in all this if you have a nanny or grandad ask for the help but hateing your mother and sister wont help trust me just try and weather the storm as it is at the moment

Despite all this, you seem like a deep down awesome person. I think you need to improve your life outside of your home....Try to do really well in school so you can go away to some good college and dorm...that way, you can get away from all this and start over on your own terms. Doesnt mean you have to run away from your family life..it just means that you can start your life as an independent adult in a good, positive way.....and then try to mend things from there...Maybe you and your mom and sister should see a family counselor....I wish you all the best, remember dont let anyone even your mom tell you who you are...Its the people who have been through the worst times of their life and learn from that who are the strongest kind of people that I admire the most =) if you need to talk, just email me whenever..its in my profile..later.