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Move wedding date up because of mother-in-law's cancer - two weddings? Ettiquite advice please!? |
I am in quite a dilemma here, and I need advice. My future mother-in-law was diagnosed with advanced cancer last week and has only been given 6-8 weeks to live. My fiance and my wedding is planned for October of this year (5 months from now). We both very much want his mother to be able to see us be married, but now we are afraid to wait until October for fear that something will happen. We are considering moving the wedding up, but to throw together a wedding and reception in 3 weeks or so is next to impossible, will leave much to be desired, and my guess is that many friends/family would not be able to come because of such short notice. Not to mention booking the caterer, photographer, DJ, finding a dress, etc. and booking a church and reception hall last minute in the midst of the busiest wedding season would be extremely difficult. The only solution I have come up with that seems somewhat practical is to have a small "parents only" ceremony perhaps in a botanical garden... I think it would be fine to have a small civil ceremony, and then a church wedding and reception in October. I would explain the situation to the church to make sure that's possible. so, your future mom in law gets to see the ceremony, but knows she'll die before your celebration party (reception) because you're more concerned with throwing a big party to impress your friends than include her???? How f-ing selfish. make it asap it's not about how elaborate or how many people are there... it's about who's there The private cermony seems like such a wonderful idea! But on another note, my husband and I were engaged for only 4 weeks before we got married in a gazebo in the park n it was a gorgeous wedding. choatic, but it pulled together wonderfully. It you are interested or want advice on how I did it you can email me and ill give you any information you need or want. But I do not in any way see a problem with having two weddings considering the circumstances your in. I really like the idea in fact. If I can help any further, im more than willing to help out in any way possible. Either way, my deepest sympathys to your Mopther-in-law, Congratulations and Good luck! i totally dissagree with coconut and pvtstash. I see no problem with it, I would think your mother-in-law would be very honored that you would hold a private ceromony for her sake. My step-father died before our wedding and we incorporated our sadness for his loss by cutting the ribbon to a white ballon at the end of the cermony, before we walked down the isle as husband and wife. You must ask urself this..... what is more important here, the dream wedding or his mom seeing you joined ?? I hate to tell you this, but it may be to hard on your future husband to get married that soon after loosing his mother... I would suggest you put away the dream wedding and go for a smaller more personal wedding...... it can be put together in 2 weeks or less...... call instead of mailing invites, thos who care will make the time to come, or send the gifts, best wishes, etc...... order the cake Monday, along with simpler menu of foods, and drinks, lower the brides maid and groomsman's count, and make the dressed store bought....... that simple...... it is more important to think of the mom at this time and the feelings of HER family....... I am sorry this is happening, but life happens and we all get thrown monkey wrenches into our dreams..... and we all have to make choices..... if it is possible, you can renew vows next yr for your 1st anniversary........ God bless Well, first off I'm sorry about your mother in law...I will pray for her! Second...A nice accepable wedding can be put together in a short amount of time, if you are very tactful....consider having a small wedding and reception with close family members...parents, and grand parents, brothers, sisters, aunts ,uncles, cousins....I planned mine in less than a month! as for the idea of having a simple wedding with just the parents..that is also nice...and it wouldn't be inappropriate to have a "real church wedding" at a later date....but I wouldnt keep the first a secret.... just let those who are invited about the situation!!!! or the idea of the reception at a later date sounds like a good idea...that way those who couldnt make it to the wedding would beable to share in your joy...but remember you will still be hurting and feeling as if someone is missing if you do either of these.....I wish You luck sweety!!! i was recently faced with a simular decision...my fiancee's grandma was diagnosed with cancer...and we both wanted her to be at the wedding..and we considered moving up our wedding date...but we chose not to...due to the fact that there was no way for her to attened.. You are all in my prayers!!! |
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