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Can we have two receptions? |
My future mother-in-law has been complaining about our choice of wedding date (July 5, 2008) saying that her family always has plans on that weekend, and won't come. She's also mentioned complaints about distance. (Our families live about 100 miles apart.) Do you think we should have a second reception in his hometown on a different weekend? I've also been thinking about a "couple's shower" a few weeks before the wedding so that everyone can celebrate with us and not feel left out. My fiance and I are paying for most of it ourselves, and my parents are kicking in a good chunk for the reception. We've already set the date, gotten locations and hired the caterer and photographer. I'm just wondering if a second reception would be ridiculous... Maybe a shower for the both of us would be better, a brunch thing? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. His family will be my family 'till death do us part.' I really don't want to make them all mad this early on... First I'd say to you that this is YOUR wedding, and you do what you want to do, and forget about making other people happy. Yes, his family will soon be yours, but if you start now doing what they want and not making yourself happy, you'll always hang onto the grudge and it'll eat at you. However, I do like the idea of a second reception, but I like the idea of a couples shower. I think thats a great idea!! A Jack and Jill shower is totally appropriate, and the guys like to be included even though they'd never come out and say that :) As for your future MIL complaining about YOUR wedding date, again, its YOUR day ... you can choose Christmas if you want your wedding on Christmas; every family has plans that day but i'm pretty sure if there was a wedding, they'd go to your wedding. The same with the 4th of July weekend ... enjoy your wedding, do what makes you happy, and have the time of your life!!!! Congrats on the wedding!!! :) My first husband and I did this. He was in the Navy and we married in California but ALL of his family (100+ members) were all back east (IN, IL, MI, etc). So we had our wedding reception following our wedding on our wedding day, then a week later, we flew back to Illinois and had a party (not really a reception, though you COULD have an official reception if you chose) for his family. It was really great that way. Sure they didn't get to see the wedding, though we did video tape it (so people could see the ceremony), but they had a great time partying nonetheless! Ask you mom in law if she could help you pay for a second recep. and plan it by her Its your wedding- Not theirs. If they cant suit your plans send them packing Just have one reception and a couple's shower before hand. I don't see a problem with your wedding day and the Fourth of July is not a major family holiday (like christmas or easter). So, I don't understand why people would have such a problem attending the wedding. If they really want to come, they can change their plans for one year. Stick with your original plan. If you're future mother in law doesn't approve than that is her problem. Don't tell her that, but just say everything is booked and you aren't changing. If people don't come, than they don't really care to see your wedding anyway. I think no one should "dictate" to you how to plan your wedding. Yes, you want to make it easy for everyone but again, in the end it's your decision. Maybe a location for your reception could have been somewhere in between the two families so they each have an equal way to travel. But, since you already have your plans made, go through with it as long as it's OK with your soon to be husband and then have a small dinner gathering with his family. angel21405 We had the same issue. We set the date for memorial day weekend in PA where my family was. His family is from MO, so they were obviously not going to be able to make it (his immediate family did, plus groomsmen, but that was it). They were at least nice about it. Anyway, because his mom was frustrated about her only son getting married and not being able to show us off to the rest of the family, she ASKED if she could throw us a second reception in MO when we got back from the honeymoon. It was kind of a bummer to not have both families there together, but we got a chance to celebrate with both famlies. If your MIL expects you to pay for two, (unless you're loaded), she's crazy. Suggest to your fiance that he talk to his parents about a second reception if they help with the cost. Also...if you have another all out reception...you can wear your dress again!!!!!!! I did :) My sister in law who was a bridesmaid wore her gown again too and my husband just wore a suit. The Moms got to wear their fancy dresses again too..it was fun! :) Good luck |
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