Wedding drama help needed?

ok here goes we got engaged last june and my mumsaid that because my dad had just died she could not afford to pay for our entire wedding (which is resonable in my opinion) but she would give us 拢1000 we refused but she insisted as 1 i would only be getting married the once and 2 shes not got any other weddings to pay for so we accepted the wedding is now 8 weeks away and she has just phoned to say we cant have it because hardly any of my family can attend only my other halfs she feels like shes paying for their party (she loves my OH but not his family!) but as we've paid for all the other stuff and spent our budget on things that arent necessary but she was givin it all you only get 1 wedding we dont have enough cash for the the food or photographer because they need payin on the day we were going to use mums money
i hope im not comin accross ungrateful to my mum but im really fed up that shes left it so late and shes takin it out on me and H2B what can i do do i cancel?

i realised by the way people we're talking about my grammer id posted on the american not uk one so i put it here too
no i bought decorations hired nicer tablecloths
bought a nicer dress etc all things that have been paid for

You don't cancel!!!

You get yourself a credit card and charge it up. I know it sucks to do that but since its only $2,000 (US) I would just charge it and pay it off as soon as you can. Better that than cancelling the wedding.

Can he ask his family for some financial support?

Also remember that people give money at weddings (most of the time). You may be able to use that money to pay for the food/pictures and charge the rest.

Yeh u r right that is jacked up. I don't care if nobody comes she said she was gonna give u the money she should give it. Try to explain to her that u budgeted ur money around what she said she was giving and it's to late 4 her to back out now because u need the money because when it all comes down to it she is the 1 that will be embarrassed because now u have to tell his family why ur mom want do what she said.

Sorry but I think your Mum is in the wrong, after all she was doing it for you & your other half, not the families of either,but if she is not willing to part with it { which I think she should } then can you get it somewhere else, My Mum & Dad did not like my 1st Husband but although they did not come to the wedding, they did give me some money for the cake & some food,because I was their Daughter,

thats mean especially as you were relying on it!!!
have you tried explaining to your mum you were relying on it!!
seening as its the only wedding you will have you would of thought that she would of still given it to you
tell her how you feel and that she has left you with this without warning!!

Well, call your mom, explain the situation and ask if at the very least if she can loan the money to you. Or.. how many people are coming to the wedding? I mean odds are you will get atleast $1000 in gift money, so you could write checks and just make sure to have your gifts deposited by monday morning.

oh that wasnt very nice of your mum, you cant really cancel the main bits, food and photographer you need them, explain to your mum the predictament she has put you under, and beg her to help ya, only weeks to the big day, cry and everything itll work.

Try to do without it. It is not fair, but maybe her financial condition has changed and she does not want to tell you. Be careful, this could damage your relationship with your mother.

borrow the money from someone else, a friend a bank anyone
if you love your husband then cancelling would not be an option.
this wedding should be perfect for you
your mum may even see sense and give you the money

Just borrow the cash from a bank and tell your mum it doesn't matter.

Talk to your mom, you obviously get on with her. Dont forget you did refuse the money at first and it was your mother that insisted.

Explain that you are very grateful for the offer of the money and that you have allocated it for the food and photos.

Explain that because the wedding is so close you really need the money that she said she would give you. It should not have anything to do with your side of the family not attending, it is suppose to be a wedding gift.

I hope she understands and lets you have the money, good luck.

That's most unfortunate. I disagree with your Mom's actions.

However, you're at where you're at. Take out a bank loan to make up the difference. Ask your Mom if she will LEND you the money given the lateness of her announcement. (And then PAY BACK the loaned money).

It's pretty hard at this stage to cut back on any of the plans so you just need to find a way to have the funds at hand. Good luck. I know it seems awful right now but things will work out.

wow that really wasn't nice of her at all! I would just be honest and say look, I know what you said but we already ordered everything and if I don't get the money from you that you promised me I can't have my wedding. I don't understand why you would do this to me.. I love you, you are my mom you are supposed to be my biggest supporter.. my feelings are deeply hurt... See how that goes. cause I think she will re think her decision after that.. be kind and let her know how much your feelings are hurt. If she doesn't give in then you might want to think about asking his parents for a loan or a friend or a combo.. could also get a loan.. at that point I would let her know everything you have to go through because of what she has done.. Not sure I could get over that one if it was me. I would feel very unloved and would rather not have that type of person in my life.

you have had a lot of good advice im getting married september. I am not having a photographer (dont like pose ing for cameras) i am going to have people taking pictures using disposables and you have to remember that others will be taking pictures of your day ask for copies. As for the party i am assuming that you are thinking of having a buffet, well you got a few options, get friends family to help do it ordo what my aunt did put on the invite no buffet so fill up before you come. (she had a sit down meal before party for very close family) Remeber people will be coming to the wedding to see you and your partner get marriedand help celebrate your special day not to be fed.

I understand what your going through,i got married last September and my dad was dying with cancer.
We managed to save 拢2000 and my mum told us not to save but to enjoy ourselves as both my mum and dad wanted that for us.
A few months before our wedding we changed all our money over for our honeymoon but then my mum asked if we were still saving as our wedding was nearer.
Our hearts sank,we had spent our savings on our honeymoon and now had no money for anything else as we were told we would get money from my mum and dad as a present.
About 5 weeks before we got married my mum came to us with 拢4000 and said it was a wedding present,we put it down to my dad being ill and my mum not thinking straight.
Im the only daughter and have never been married before nor plan to divorce my husband.
Maybe your mum just isnt thinking straight,have you tried sitting her down,just the 2 of you and discussing everything.
Even if its in a loan,explain to your mum every penny is a massive help.
Your mum has time now to sit back and realise your dad wont be at your wedding and shes probably trying to hold everything together.
My mum had a birthday the beginning of April,my dad wasnt there to celebrate with her,my brother was 40 on the 6th,my dad wasnt here to hug his first born and say 'happy 40th son' it was my birthday last sunday,my dad wasnt there to give me a hug and say 'happy birthday baby',my mum had to do it all,just as your mum has to do all these things alone so try and have a word with her about your wedding and explain how you feel.
Its hurrendous losing a loved 1 and we make silly decisions.

Didn't you already ask this question? The idea is to get married! Not just have a wedding. If your mom can't pay for it then you'll have to find a way around it! Cost costs.. If the only money you have is already spent on flowers then how did you expect to pay for all the other things and those must have been some expensive flowers!

Families always get weird around weddings. Can't you talk to your fiance and come up with a way to cut cost and pay for things. Do you have a job? Does he have a job? It's not your moms responsibility to pay for your wedding.

i feel really sorry for you but i certainly wouldnt cancel could you not explain to your mum its a commitment she made to you to help u out on your special day and unfortunatley because some of your family members are not going she has retracted her offer and it is very unfair as you have made provisions for the money to help towards the cost if she doesnt come round harsh as it may seem i would ban her and tell her to join the rest of the family that wont be coming hope all goes to plan and CONGRATULATIONS

NO you dont. Unless you're looking for a way out.....This is a terrible thing for your mum to do to you both such a short time out from the wedding. Perhaps she is hoping you'll cancel? Just get a credit card and wack it all on that if you're sure you want to get married and not just have a party - food and photos are some of the main expenses so have a look at cars and any other bits and pieces that you maynot have done yet and see if you can cut corners on them. Dont give out favours... make your own if youwant to... do your own flowers etc.... but never cut out the food and photos completely... - I'm a wedding organiser by trade, and there are lots of things you can do to cut down on the food cost too - you need to speak to the hotel about your problem, suggest they do a smaller buffet of just snack food, and tell your guests that they should eat a little before they come, or maybe in the daytime a standard roast meal would be more fitting, if you have chosen something really special for your wedding breakfast. if its the daytime food you're worried about you can probably negotiate with the hotel to bring in your own wine for the meal too... they may charge corkage but it still may be cheeper than having their wine - they should be able to help you and make suggestions to reduce the cost at the hotel as they wont have bought any food in for your wedding yet. Check your contract with them though, because there may be a minimum spend on the booking.

Most importantly - its your day - make sure your mum knows that what she's done has put you in an awkward position, and if she's happy with you telling your evening guests to eat before they come, then just get on and sort it with the Hotel. If you explain that cancellation is the other option and that may loose them more revenue then they will be only to happy to help. for the sake of 拢1000 just put it on the card. its a manageable amount to be able to pay off over the next few months and a lean Christmas may mean that you can spend the rest of your life with your new hubby....it should be worth it just for that.