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| *SoulEyes Photography>>>Photo Essays |
Need someone to critique my essay? |
Essay is about volunteer work, leadership skills & my character. This essay is to get in2 a club at my school. Essay doesn't include the intro or conclu. I would like it if u could tell me what u didn't like about the essay & what I need to inprove it. I have served the (my schools name) community throughout my high school career and even before. During my years in (schools name) I participate in Safe Halloween by helping SADD sell mock tails to help raise money for the Make A Wish Foundation. Since there is a shortage of blood throughout the country, the Interact Club held their bi annual blood drive to try and promote people to give blood. In that event I helped give out food and drinks to individuals who had just donated blood. When the local fire department had their annual safety event I contributed by heading a station for the Interact Club where I helped children make Photo ID booklets which included their name, address, phone number, photo, age, height etc. incase they ever got lost or abducted their parents would have this booklet to give to the police to help them in their search. As the New Year rolled around SADD knew that many people would be celebrating the New Year. We decided to make red ribbons that stated Think before you act, do not drink and drive鈥?and put them on the students cars in the parking lot to remind them to think before they get behind the wheel. I also joined the Interact Act club in visiting a local nursing home. I would help the seniors their make crafts and also talk to them. Being an organized, responsible and reliable person is very important in order to be a good leader. When I started babysitting for two young girl ages seven and nine I did not think it would be that difficult. I did not realize however, how much they trusted and depended on me. When one of the girls was having problems with others in school she came to me and asked me for advice about what she should do. She trusted me to lead her in the right direction. I have also taken on a leadership role in my job. As someone who has been there for almost a year I am dependable on to show new employees what to do and help them get comfortable with their job responsibilities. I am a person who upholds morals by not drinking, doing drugs, or participating in violence. I am a person who people confide in to listen their problems and I try and help them in any way I can. First off- very good and descriptive; I liked it! But, there are a few flaws: First, explain everything (i.e. What is SADD, Safe Halloween etc.) bi-annual Don't use acronyms until you have explained what they stand for yea of course i read ur paper. its --um-gud. yea. gr8 job. |
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