|
|
| *SoulEyes Photography>>>Photography Courses |
Am I being selfish? I feel that my husband is following his path regardless of the cost $ or emotionally? |
I am lucky to be stay at home mum of 3 boys, he works; self employed, I get to go to pilates once/week, and bowen therapy once/month. He has photography hobby. Has bought lots of gear, hundreds of dollars worth each time, most recently since Dec 2006;$400.00 camera, Spyder ware (for computer) $150.00, ?$200.00 Darkroom equipment. Doing a course next term ?$250.00 or more. Recently went on a 10 night OS holiday with a mate for Martial Arts Training $2000.00+, and then gives me a hard time about budgeting (ie buying bulk groceries when things on special). He promised his Nan that we as a family would travel interstate to celebrate her 90th this year, and he tries to avoid it every time I bring it up. He has more recently started slacking off on some of the few things he does to help around the house, and when I raised it tonight, he went to bed, with out a word. I feel very taken for granted, and when I raise the question of his frivolous spending, he makes light of it. What to do? Sounds like a midlife crisis or he is feeling as though he gives and gives and gets nothing in return and decided he doesn't care how much things cost but he is going to treat himself. I don't knwo the situation but you sound very well cared for and since he is the bread winner and you stay at home there really isn't much you can do. Just point out when the bills aren't paid and bring it to his attention. No, you are NOT being selfish. You need to sit down with him and show him how much money he spends. Maybe he doesn't really realize how much all this stuff can add up. Then show him what you spend and how much groceries are. It sounds like maybe he just needs a reality check! Sit him down and work out a budget together. What each of you can afford to spend on hobbies each month. Then you need to stick to it. If he is the one spending the most and also complaining about finances, he needs to see it all written down in front of him. About the housework, make a list of all chores that need done around the house. As a stay at home mom, you should have the majority of them, however, there are a few things he can help with. With compromise and communication, it will all work out. You are simply experiencing a lack of communication.Sit down and talk to him.Unfortunately this issue almost alway's arises with a stay at home mom.What happens is that dad feel's that he supports the family so he can do whatever he want's financially and mom starts to feel unappreciated.As far as the party for nan nan it doesn't sound like he really want's to go maybe you and the kid's should just go without him. the man works hard for his money and he feels its his right to spend and not justify his expenses to you. where as you dont work and he gives you money and he feels you should justify your spending. i think you shoudl get a part time job to mak ehim feel like you are contributing and helping out. this way h ewill feel more equal. he feels like hes being taken for granted. let him know you appreciate the things he does instead of nagging about fribulous things. write him a card and remind him how special he is to you, little things make peopel feel special and let him know that it counts. You don't mention if the kids are in school or not. being the bread winner of the family, he seems not to know what it takes to keep that family going. I would sit him right down and show him the needs of the family and how u are trying to save on the budget he gives u. he's also got to realize that he wanted to take on a family, and they have needs and wants. it is not fair to u that he can get all the boy toys and the family gets nothing. talk to him. |
| Tags |
| Photography Studio Photography School Photography Magazine Photography Jobs Photography Equipment Photography Courses Photo Gallery Photo Essays Art Gallery Wedding Photography |
Photography Categories--Copyright/IP Policy--Contact Webmaster |