Is it to much to ask?

my husband is; loyal, hard working, friendly and a great coworker. He is always there early and leaves late. Does the things other people dont want to do. But has the brick wall up about not finding a better job. He is certified in a number of things but chooses low paying jobs. Thus making us struggle with our new house and truck notes. I work two jobs do freelance photography and take classes online. Always trying to better myself. He has never been unemployed but never chooses jobs i feel are equal to his capabilities. Is there something i am missing? Is there any thing i can do to make him realize he is better?

Lol a nagging wife i am far from. The reason i have a problem is because he fusses. He gets mad that they use him and all these things and I have to deal with the after effects.

Well, I am sort of in the same situation, although I'm not quite as busy as you! My husband is always happy with the status quo and doesn't even think about improving himself or getting a better job, yet complains about the one he has.

First off, do you think it could be a self-esteem issue? I used to think my husband was just lazy, but I think a lot of it is just low self-esteem (in the job market).

I used to get so upset with him but I have come to just kind of realize that it is really his life and not mine, and therefore, if he is REALLY unhappy, he will do something about it. All I can do is support him if he chooses to move forward.

When he does complain to extremes, I just say, well, you could find another job. And leave it at that. I don't push or nag anymore or get upset that he doesn't look. The money is enough, and although it would be nice if he did get a better paying job, we are okay.

I guess my advice is that you need to come to terms with it yourself. He just may not be the go-getter you are, and can you live with that?

If there is a money problem, then you need to sit down with him and find a compromise. Maybe he could just take a part-time job on the side?

he's gotta want to get a better job before it can be done successfully. though you have your feelings, he has his and it makes it hard both of you but there has got to be a happy medium.

It's a confidence issue. It's not easy to step out of your comfort zone and try something new.

My wife & I did that a few years ago when we both changed careers. It was SCARY at the time, but now...looking back...it was a total blessing. It's just hard to make that jump for some.

I'd suggest building up a savings, offer LOTS of encouragement and support, and tell him to step out of that comfort level.

Good luck!!!

Perhaps he is content and happy doing what he likes. I guess this is where the saying "Behind every successful man, there is a nagging woman" comes from.

Sounds like he is afraid of failure, I would get him to do up a resume and post it on line. If he starts to see that others think that he is as qualified as you tell him, he may believe it and be willing to take a chance.
You can even go to an employment agency to help with this too, they will be able to tell him professionally what they think he is qualified for. It may give him the boost that he needs.
Not to be mean but in situations like this what spouce is really going to believe you, your supposed to tell them stuff like that. getting someone else to tell him too may help.

If this is how he was before you married, it's unfair to expect him to change now. You said you work two jobs, freelance and go to school online because you want to better yourself. Maybe he feels he's fine the way he is.
One way to alleviate your financial stress is to not finance so much stuff. If you can't afford the payment, then don't buy it.


Edited:
Have you ever heard the saying that some people aren't happy unless they have something to bitc* about? That may be the case with him. He likes his job and he likes that they need him and he complains because he is happy. If he was truly miserable and didn't like being taken advantage of, then he would find a different job. Just take all his nagging with a grain of salt. I understand it can get annoying, because my husband is the same way, but he loves the work he does and wouldn't do anything else. But he loves to complain too. Even if he did do something else, he would be complaining about it. lol...
For the record, I don't and didn't think you are a nagging wife or a bad wife. I just think you have unrealistic expectations. Even if you convince him to get a better paying job, he is still going to complain. He'll just be making more money and blaming you for his misery, since it was your idea to find a different job.
If you have to work 90+ hours a week, in addition to whatever he brings home to make ends meet, then maybe it's time you scale back on some of your must have possessions....

Sounds like he is happy and you are not???????

He is happy with what he is doing and content in life!

Why are you not satisfied with him being happy?

Maybe he's tired of hearing you beach all the time about not having enough money and his ego is keeping him from finding a better job, I mean my husband constantly nags me from sun-up to sun-down, now his voice is just void and I block out what ever he tells me because I am so sick and tired of hearing him!

he has two options in my opinion get a better job, or get a new wife

Well, the first thing you do is to TALK to him and address your concerns with him, not answer boards. Communication and trust is paramount in any relationship. Find your answer with him - not us! Although, it does sound like you require validation from others that you would like your husband to better provide you financially - very shallow indeed.

My husband has an amazing job that pays him so well but he beaten into the ground and when he is upset with something I am the one that has to suffer I am feeling you on this one but my husband I would never ask him to find a different job because he actually loves his job even though he lets off steam sometimes but when he has a problem and is seriously troubled by it I encourage him to talk to his boss his boss is a reasonable man but my husband is more than qualified and knowledgeable in this Field so he is very much needed he even invented a tool for the corrosion industry that he works in! So Just be patient with him letting steam is better than boiling over he just needs to determine if he is actually happy at his job or just venting!

You don't like it get someone else. You are so smart then why is it so complicated?