How do I get my youngest son to not follow oldest son鈥檚 footsteps?

I鈥檓 a mother of four. I have three sons and one daughter. They鈥檙e from 18, 23, 26, and 32. My two middle children are doing great in life. My 23 years old son is working for an insurance company and my daughter is EMT personnel. Sam, my oldest son is doing ok. He has a very rough life and I don鈥檛 really believe in what he鈥檚 doing. He dropped out of high school at 17, his life was a mess after that. He went to Thailand to do kickboxing for a while then wind up in couple different countries before joining French foreign legion. After he got out of legion, he fought in Kosovo at end of the war. After the war, he moved to Croatia and started a model agency and photography studio which is still successful to this day. He still goes to fight in war once in a while, with most recently being Afghan. He was in Thailand at around time when last revolution happened, but he denies he was doing anything there. Now with help from one of his model, they鈥檙e starting their own fashion line. He also still fights in kickboxing event from time to time.

Kevin, my youngest son have always really looked up to him and always think he鈥檚 the most well to do. Kevin always makes comment about how Sam is running a million dollars industry, have a mansion by the beach in South Africa, penthouse in France, and a house by beach in Croatia, have tie with many people around the world, and is always doing something fun with his life instead of living 鈥渞at race鈥?life like as rest of the family.
Now Kevin is starting to really thinking about not going to college that he got accepted in but instead head to Croatia to work with Sam or getting into the military. This is really scaring me. To make it worse, Sam didn鈥檛 seems to try to discourage Kevin, Sam basically just tell Kevin to either make his own path and live how he want to or fall into vicious cycle of keeping up with the Jones.

I don't want to sound rude, but the point of raising children is to teach them what they need to know so they can eventually make their OWN way in life. Just because your eldest isn't living an average life, doesn't make him a bad role model for your youngest. Your son has proven that you can accomplish your goals in life with a little motivation and hard work, and I'm sure he has you to thank for it. Why would you want to dissuade your youngest from accomplishing his goals in life? That would just create resentment. You should be proud of your children, from the sounds of it, you did a great job.

And yes, I agree that a college education is very important, but sometimes its not the path for everyone. Just remind your youngest how much work it took his brother to get where he's at; if he still wants to live a life outside of the 'rat race', it will be a long road to get there.

well i have 3 older sibling and my older brother is a bad influence to me, so i dont really wnat to be like him because i hang out with my other 2 sibling and they show me what is right from wrong make him hang out with the older kids that are good for him =)

You can discuss your concerns with your son but ultimately let him make the decision because it is his life. If he feels like he is not doing what he wants to, his chances of succeeding are not very high.

Luck. Seriously, unless you're still in control of Kevin's finances then there's not a lot you can do but hardball tactics rarely work out so be careful there. Anyway you can nicely and unbiasedly point out that Sam's life is not so glamorous?