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Is my best friend doing these things out of insecurity? |
Ok. I have one real best friend. and obviously, I love her. But I'm basically her only friend. For me, I can think of like 7 people that i could talk to besides her if i had a problem. She almost makes fun of some friends i have. Like if one of them walks by in the halls she'll say something like "Wow, she's so weird" When the person isn't. or "ew, he's so gross." When he isn't. See what i'm saying? She's not involved with any school activities, clubs, anything. And she's not a fantastic student. I get pretty good grades (B's and up), i'm in cheerleading, yearbook, german club, and photography. When I told her i was trying out for cheerleading (I'm a dancer and a gymnast outside of school) she basically gave me this "you're such a loser" look. And i think we all kind of realize that cheerleaders aren't exactly low on the high school "foodchain." I love her, but is she doing these things out of insecurity? sounds like she's insecure & jealous & envious of you. By putting down the people & things you like she's trying to install doubt in you about your choices & make it seem like she's the best thing you got going. She would benefit from getting some more of her outside interests & friends, perhaps there are people you can introduce her to that share some of her likes & they'll do things together & help her see she is able to have her own life i think she does have insecuritys...... Shes probably a bit jealous that your going out wtih the guy she likes... and she probably feels like its hard for her to make friends .. so instead she acts like all the others are a bunch of morons... She will work it out eventually on her own... if i were u i would still be a good friend to her... shes just acting like that because she is a bit insecure... Your friend does sound on the insecure side, but maybe she has a little justification? You are into all of these activities, but she's not. Maybe, as a true friend, you could encourage her to participate in some of your activities/sports/clubs..inclu... her - make her feel wanted. Also; as a general rule in girl friendshipdom, do NOT go after a guy your friend says she likes. How would you feel had she (or one of the other 7 friends you have) done that to you? See what I mean? Yea it does sound like she has some self-esteem issues and insecurities. But as her "best friend" that you "love" be supportive and help her out. She may not be as involved in as many activites as you and may not be able to get good grades, so just help her out. Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to tho. As for the cheerleading... I guess I grew up in a different kind of HS because cheerleading wasn't that big a deal. The media makes it seem like it is (like in the 80's and 90's), but there is nothing about cheerleaders that makes them "high on the high school food chain." But if that's what you are doing it for, then perhaps that's why she gave you that look. You shouldn't go and date a guy she likes or thinks is hot. Maybe she doesn't hang out with him or talk to him, but it's pretty much a rule that you don't go out with a guy your friend likes. She may think your other friends are "weird" because they aren't her friends, or something about them make her think they are weird. But if you are her only friend, maybe she doesn't want to lose you. So she says things like that so you only hang out with her. But talk to her about it! Well when she acts like that just roll your eyes and walk away. than later tell her why you did it. she will eventually quit. and i do think that all of this is an insecurity issue. shes going through lots of changes and she is still not really sure of who she is. so always keep an open heart and listen to what she has to say. and if you need more help email me personally at coltsbaby_16@yahoo.com . i check it almost every day so i will be there if you have any other questions too. lata |
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