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How can i put my life back together after leaving a bad marriage? |
i am now a single mom w/2 girls (ages 5 and 2). i just moved to the projects and am on welfare. i have dreams but no way to get them into action (modeling, photography). was going to just do some schooling that was quick but i know it won't make me happy. all the years of abuse (physical when he was on drugs, and overall mental) have made my self-esteem next to nothing. but i need to come up with a way to get some money- i have no car and am on temp. disability for a bad back. i can't even get child support (had to sign a 'good cause' form from welfare cause of the threats n abuse from my ex) just want to live a comfortable life, with nice things. i feel like that is never going to happen unless i can get some money, get the car and find a nice home somewhere. then maybe i could get 'dolled up' again and start feeling better about myself (nice clothes, do the modeling, etc.). just want my girls and i to FINALLY have a nice life... but i'm seriously starting to worry it'll never happen. Based on your picture you afre very attractive and there are certainly jobs where your appearance would give you an advantage...one of those is sales...there are a number of sales postions (real estate, etc) where the training is short and not very difficult. As far as helping you out of the current situation its hard without more information like what state, etc., but are certainly state, church, and community-based programs that could help. Family is another option, but i assume you have already tried that. Again, don't know how bad your back is but most sales jobs are not physically deminding. There is medicaid if you are on welfare. Priorities are really important at this point. There are some short-term things you can do, but a longer term strategy is also important. What do you want? If you are on drugs or hanging with the wrong crowd now is the time to ditch it and them. Your young and hot, you have two legs up on the competition! Start off with schooling, then once you get some school, work should come easier for you with better paying positions. school is the key to everything. Your life will get better honey. Right now things are hard but it won't be like this forever. I have walked in your shoes...no job...no car...2 kids to support. I found work, paid my bills, raised my kids, bought a house and car and paid them both off. The ex is in and out of his mother's house and whoever else will take his *** in and he's broke as a joke. If I can do it, anyone can! take it day by day...u know what u are and what ur about.. nobody can take ur self esteem unless u let them... even though u r on assistance there r plenty of programs to help u get back on ur feet, right now i honestly wouldnt b worried about modeling ect... those careers are fleeting u need to focus on a stable career for u and ur children, one that u can support urself without a man supporting u..it will happen but no it wont overnight u have along road ahead of u ..just keep ur eye on the goal..u and ur childrens happiness and independence.. I had an abusive marriage too. Fortunately there were no children involved and fortunately I was able to escape after 9 months. I went through rehab and they sent me to college so that I could get the skills that I needed to land a good job. I went through a lot of counseling as well to help me overcome the trauma and the side effects of the abuse. I did not think that I would ever find ANYONE again. I had bad dates and so on and so forth and I was beginning to think that I screwed up one time and that since I screwed up the chance would never again be granted. I began to realize that I did not screw up, he was the one that screwed up. It took 9 years, but I did find someone new for myself, but that 9 years gave me an opportunity to heal and get my life back together It can, and WILL happen..........but it won't be easy, or fast. You just take one day at a time, and do everything in your power THAT day to overcome the obstacles that lie in your path. You can make a little money, even being on welfare. Get another Mom in the same predicament you're in, and you and her switch up. You watch the kids one day, while she works, then she watches yours the next day, while you work. That way, you work half time, make a little money, and save all you can. ONE DAY, you can have independence! Good Luck!! Life can be very tough and at times down right unfair. However, we can't live with the "oh, poor me" attitude since it's highly unlikely at $1M will fall into our laps out of the blue. As difficult as it may be, you'll need to stay patient and take things step by step. Focus on putting your life together first. I think a full time job should be your main objective at this point. If you need to take classes (as much as you may not like it), you got to do it, not just for yourself but your kids as well. If you can rely on family for the time being until you can get back on your feet, ask them for help. Stay focused and don't let things get you down even if things seem unbearable. Good luck. |
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