Wedding debate!! Dads, photographers, Invitations~?

So I want to start thinking about this now, I am getting married next may (09) and I am having some issues (already). I dont speak to my biological father due to his alcohol and drug problems therefor he will not be at my wedding. The man who has played the role of father to me is my moms now ex husband. he and I are in excellent standing!!! My mom hates the man because of their choices in marriage, but he WILL be at my wedding. I want him to do my photographs because that is his passion and he would love to. But who walks me down the aisle in that case? I have 3 older brothers and dont want to hurt any of their feelings. Do I ask my Grandpa? As for invitations how should I word them because the people I consider my parents hate each other? Thanks for your help in advance~~!
J~

Me and My fiance are paying for it from our pockets. Also will it look weird on the invites that he doesnt have a middle name and I do.. He wasnt given one at birth.

The middle names are a non issue. Give that not one second of thought.

I would ask either your mother or oldest brother to walk you down the aisle. I walked down the aisle with my husband to be...our philosophy is that we're in this life together, and we wanted to approach the minister hand in hand. I think that says something about us as a couple.

On the invitations, I'd put, The honor of your company is requested at the marriage of Sally Ann Smith and Joseph McDonough....there is no need to mention parents at all, regardless of who is or is not paying.

You could have your mom walk you down the aisle or you can walk yourself down, and when the officiant asks who gives this bride your immediate family can answer (your mom, brothers, grandparents)
As for the invites just say
So and So
Along with their parents
that way no one really knows who your talking about and it could include everyone!

ok, i tink u should hire ur mom's ex to do the pictures, he would prob like that. and walkin u down the aisle, i tink u shud ask ur grandpa, that way ur brothers wont be hurt because u picked one over the other. listen this is gonna be ur day, so who cares about who hate each other and who dont, jus word the invitations any way u want, and u make sure u let ur family kno that u love them but u only get one wedding day so they should be there for u for that one day. good luck wit everyting

have your x-step-dad do teh photos if he is willing. Thats great you ahve that. Your mother will jsut have to deqal! Its one day and its for you!

Have your grandpa walk you down or how about your mom!

As for the invitations just invite people on behalf of your fiance and yourself. Dont mention the parents if its too dificult to do or say "along with their parents"

Grandpa is the perfect choice Hon, I'm sure your 'Dad' will understand.....
...as far as invites go, you are So & So, daughter of Ms. So & So..........the groom is Such & Such, son of Mr &Mrs. Such & Such.

I would consider putting your step-dad on the programs along with the names of the parents & bridal party...and grandparents & siblings....there his acknowledgement will be fitting.

On the invite? That would be dicey as far as your mother is concerned...I'm sure 'Dad' will understand...good luck

You could do your mom and your grandpa. I had this delima. My mother was always such a prominent figure in my life more so than my dad. I didn't feel great about him giving mr away but didn't want to hurt either. I was actually a nice twist to have both, the guests thought it was unique and interesting.

Congratulations ...well in advance.
Your planning etc., every thing is perfectly ok.
Secondly,what ever the status/mentality of your own Father...
Try to invite him in person ,psychologically u too will b happy by that time.
So , All the best n good luck.

I think ask your grandpa is the most appropriate (and convenient!) thing to do in this situation. Can't cause a problem by choosing your grandpa!

As for the wording- alot of people believe that the wording is reflective of who is paying for the wedding. If this is your belief and you are paying for most of it yourself, you could use

Bride and Groom
together with their parents
request the pleasure of your company...

If just your Mom is paying, then it would be,
Miss/Ms/Mrs Mom
requests the pleasure of your company
at a ceremony celebrating the marriage of her daughter
Bride Middle
with
Groom Middle Last...

and if both your parents are paying,
Ms. Mom
and
Mr. Dad (on separate lines like this!!)
request the honor of your presence...

As you have found out first hand, weddings aren't always traditional. You could have all 3 brothers walk you down the aisle if you chose! However, I might ask your step father to be a part of the ceremony, and see if you can't hire another photographer for an hour or so to take pictures of the actual ceremony, seeing as you seem to want him a part of it. Now, it doesn't matter if your parents hate each other, because both of them love you and are giving their blessing to your wedding. So you could word it fairly traditionally, with a little bit of a twist like:

Mothers name & Step fathers name
and
Mr. & Mrs. Fiances Father's name

Request your presence blah blah blah.

All the best, and congrats!

I think your stepfather would love to photograph your wedding, and it's wonderful that you want him to!
Are you closer to any one brother than another? If so, I'd choose that brother.
Also, depending on what you want photos of, your stepfather could still walk you down the aisle (unless that's what you're wanting pictures of). He could walk you, then immediately take pictures of the ceremony, or he could walk you, then take pictures after the ceremony only.
You could also ask your grandpa if you wanted to. It's up to you! Do it the way that would make YOU the happiest.
Are you paying for the wedding? Or are your "parents" the ones that are contributing (albeit separately)? If you're paying, all you have to say is "John Jacob Doe and Mary Marie Smith request your presence at their wedding on 19 May 2009" or something like that. If your parents are paying, you can just say something like "The families of John Jacob Doe and Mary Marie Smith request your presence at the wedding of their children on 19 May 2009".
Good luck, and I hope I helped! Try to remember to not stress too much. Also, if I were you, I'd talk to both parents SOON - just tell them you want them both involved and they don't have to like each other but to please just tolerate each other so you can be happy. They love you, I'm sure they'll be more than happy to do this for you :)

imagine a moonlit nite a long ladder .........run away my girl run away