Please help us come to a compromise.?

My fiance and I can not decide on the type of wedding we want. We are going back and forth. We both want a small intimate wedding. She wants the Ritz Carlton for 5000 (that is just for two) includes minister, cake, ceremony, photographer and flowers. *does not include stay at hotel

I want a luxury villa for 1200 a night with 10 people and bring in a chef, flowers, minister, cake etc. My plan will ultimately cost more but she says that she does not see 10 people in a house together as a wedding. I believe a wedding is what you make it.

*please note that we will only stay one week at the house with the guest the remaining two weeks will be the two of us alone. Week in Europe and and Island on the way back home to the west coast.

I do not want to be cheap, selfish or disregard what she wants. Bring peace back to this house. Where is our happy medium? Thank you to all who respond.

tough decision, but most girls have a vision of what they want their wedding to be. I understand that the day is ultimately for both of you, however, if she wants the Ritz then she should have the Ritz. The the whole wedding is generally very important to the bride, she probably has been picturing her perfect day for ages. Let her have it where she wants, there really isn't a compromise. The wedding should be left up to her as far has how she wants it, you have no idea how much it means to her to have that perfect wedding she has been dreaming of. So be the sweet fiance give her what she wants. Many blessings.

Although I can see the appeal of your idea, in the end I dont like it because other people will be in the house with you. When you wake up, theyll be there. You cant walk around naked. The first few days of your marriage shouldnt be like that.

I like the RC idea. You can all get your own rooms, and you can make it shorter than a week stay. Besides, the RC will have some activities like spa, golf, or swimming you can all do together.

Have a small ceremony and celebrate with a few close friends. Maybe just go out to a nice dinner somewhere. They can take a few snapshots.
Spend your money on a nice little trip, just for the two of you.
Then make a donation to a worthy cause.
Most weddings are way overdone. The money is not worth it.
Why do you need to spend so much to say you love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together.
The memories will be memories, whether they're at the Ritz, a luxury villa, or at the city park.

Those are two very different wants.

Personally I like the idea of the Villa, it is nontraditional, unique and very intimate, spending time with 10 close family and friends is lovely.

I don't see a stable happy medium.

Maybe pick a totally different idea you both like.

Intimate wedding, as your bride wishes. Then go on your honeymoon.

When you return from the honeymoon, have a post-wedding reception or celebratory dinner with the 10 guests you wanted to invite.

How's that for a compromise?

Or the two of you can pick another location, perhaps? Maybe a destination wedding at a Sandals resort?
http://www.sandals.com/general/wedding.c...

Maybe the Ritz wedding then after the honeymoon have an intimate reception for the close friends and family you want to invite. She gets her wedding and you get your celebration.

how about a ceremony for 10 at the Ritz and stay in a house for a week after, have the reception there and then off to the honeymoon?

maybe do something very intimate near home or outside and inexpensive and splurge hugely on honeymoon and traveling together as newly weds... just make sure to remember to make yourselves happy it is YOUR wedding

Ypu should have a small ceremony at the courthouse and use the money you saved to help impoverished children and the homeless.

Save your money and have an intimate affair in a chapel with cake and coffee afterwords.
Spend all the money you save on a new house or car.

Elope and spend the money on a nice, romantic honeymoon:)

Together - choose a 3rd place to get married. The minister, cakes, pictures, flowers - can be arranged to come to the 3rd place .. which should not be a big deal since you BOTH want a small intimate wedding.

For your wedding night and following days/nights -- find another villa just for the 2 of you. Find a charming place - full of elegance - luxury ... and soooooo much major romance .. be alone - just the 2 of you ,, make incredible, unforgettable, memories .. they will last you a life-time.

Doing it this way - will be meeting each other in the middle -- and no one gets mad because they didn't get their choice.

Welcome to almost married life! This will be the first of many compromises. My finace and I had a similar issue. We both wanted a 2 week honeymoon but couldnt agree on a place or time. Both our families are big Disney fanatics and I wanted us on our 2nd week of honeymoon to meet up with his parents and mine (all be in different hotels and what not) and he wanted to travel Europe for 2 weeks. We met in the middle and are doing a 1 week european cruise (so we can see more then one area) and then spending the second week in Disney with parents, then flying home.

Make it work, find something that the 2 of you love and will remeber forever.

If I understand you correctly, it seems like your fiancee is looking for an elegant upscale intimate affair and you are looking for a comfortable ecclectic intimate affair.

I like the idea of combining both. You have the wedding at an outdoor area where the villas are. Your bride can have it decorated in whatever elegant way she wants. You may want to do an evening or dusk wedding with candles everywhere, or an afternoon affair with beautiful flowers and a gorgeous sunset. And your wedding would be witnessed by a small group of family and friends followed by a reception at either the villa for the guests or outside.

Then, you must absolutely have your own space for your wedding night. Your fiancee is absolutely right to not see 10 people in a house together as a wedding. There is a reason that people used to leave their weddings before the end of the reception to go off to their honeymoon. It was meant to stimulate the intimate beginning of the couple's marriage and not have the couple get bogged down with talking to guests until the last song is played.

That said, I would recommend that you get a lovely villa for the two of you, and if you are so compelled to get a villa for your closest family and friends (although unless it is a destination wedding, I don't think that is necessary) you can certainly do that, although I think a week is excessive.

Further, paying 5000 for the Ritz which doesn't even include your hotel stay is too much and a poor use of your money. If you paid for all of those things separately you wouldn't be anywhere near 5000...and it sounds like that price tag doesn't include a meal or at best only includes one for the two of you.

I think it is lovely that you want to have an intimate affair and just share it with a handful of loved ones. However, that does not mean that they have to share in all of your intimacies. Providing a place for them to stay is a nice gesture and having a place for the two of you to sneak off to is imperative.

Best of luck to the two of you!