Who pays for rehearsal dinner?

My fiance and I are paying for our wedding.His mom volunteered to make the cake and his sister will be the photographer.I kindly asked my mom if she and dad will pay for the R.dinner and she told me that my fiance's parents should pay.My dad has no say so,whatever my mom says,goes which I think is pethetic.My fiances mom and sister already are participating.I think its fair that my parents pay.I mean they can blow their money on stupid crap,but can't pitch in for their daughters wedding.They said they would help out and now they dont want to.Should we just pay for it ourselves?

Mom even wants me to pay for the bridal shower.Hello.Does anyone else have stingy moms?

WOW, they wont help out at all...how rude. This is their daughters wedding..so they are not going to do anything for you just bring a gift and thats it??? I would be so wanting to say something very outloud but couldnt cause its my mom but I would be almost speechless. Well try to manage with them and see if they will pay for a percentage with you. And it was that the brides parents paid for the wedding. And I do agree with you that his mom and sis are doing something so you feel that your mom, dad, sis bro whatever do something as well...agree! If you can afford it go ahead and pay for everything. I guess that is the only way possible right?? Good Luck and I hope they come around.

First of all - congratulations on making the decision to pay for your own wedding, that's fantastic! Typically the Groom's parents will be for the rehearsal. However, since your future mother-in-law and sister-in-law are already pitching in, it's only fair that your parents share the burden. Maybe ask them to go in half and half.
If that doesn't work, I would recommend paying for it on your own.
Also, your bridesmaids should be responsible for your shower - not you or your mom.

You should pay for the rehearsal dinner without giving it another thought. Your family doesn't want to help. That's clear. It's funny she's stunk of the traditional etiquette that his family is to pay for the rehearsal dinner, while giving herself a pass on the tradition that the bride's family is to pay for EVERYTHING else!

You do not, however, pay anything for a shower. That is just absolutely wrong. Your MOH should be hosting that anyway, not your mother.

Traditionally the groom's family pays for the rehersal dinner and the bride's family pays for the whole wedding. Personally, I think that making a cake and taking pictures are pretty minor and a rehersal dinner is a pretty big thing so I wouldn't say that a cake and pictures are a substitute. For my wedding the distribution has been between everyone. My parents paid for/took care of the dress, the cake, and decorations and are helping make the food, his family is paying for the rehersal dinner, the band, and the boutineers, my fiance and I are paying for the food, the flowers, and the church. Either way you do it, it's not going to help to make a fuss about it; that just makes it no fun for anyone.

My mom was very generous - but she certainly didn't have to be.
As for the rehearsal dinner - you could try talking with your mom and telling her that his parents have already pitched in with a lot of other things for the wedding and would she mind paying for the rehearsal dinner? If she says no, then it will probably be easier to pay for it yourself. It doesn't have to be anything big - have a BBQ, have dinner at your house, etc.

No, it's NOT fair that your parents pay. YOU decided to get married, so YOU should fund anything that you want to have in regards to the wedding. It's kind and gracious of his family to pitch in, but that doesn't mean that your family is obligated to do so as well.

It's none of your business what they "blow their money" on. THEY earned it. It's not yours. And what's really "pathetic" is that you're here whining about it.

Pay for your own rehearsal dinner.

And you're correct that the bride shouldn't pay for her own shower ... but that's because of etiquette, not because it's your Special Day and you shouldn't have to pay. it's HORRIBLY rude and tacky for the bride to have any hand in planning her own shower, except for possibly providing a guest list if the hostess asks for one.

Usually it's the groom's parents who pay for rehearsal dinner. However, since they are already helping out I don't think it was wrong to ask your mom. My mom is helping out with the reception and my fiance's mother has agreed, finally, to give us a set amount toward the rehearsal dinner. It won't cover the entire thing so my grandfather offered to pay for the rest. It was either that or we were just going to pay ourselves. As far as the shower goes, I have never heard of the person the shower is for paying for it. Your bridesmaids should all be splitting that bill. If you can afford it then just do it, avoid the headache.

In the past the tradition was the brides family pays for the wedding and the grooms the Rehearsal Dinner.
These days none of those are really kept up with and there are no rules to stick with.

It stinks that they offered to pay for stuff and now they won't but it is your wedding and you can't force someone else to contribute.

Typicall the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner -- but anything goes these days.

The great thing about you guys paying for your wedding is you can have it be any way you like!

My husband and I were very fortunate...we had our dream wedding and our families both chipped in and paid for the majority of it.

These days it depends...maybe you can ask your mom if she could split the cost...that way she is not having to pay for the whole thing.

Traditionally, the brides parents pay for the wedding and the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner.

Good luck with everything!!!

Traditionally it is the brides family who pays for the wedding, and the grooms family that pays for the rehearsal dinner. Bridal shower is usually coordinated by the maid/matron of honor or the bridal party.

Usually the groom or his family pay for the rehearsal dinner. But since his family is doing a lot to help out, there is nothing wrong with your mom paying. You also shouldn't have to pay for your shower. The person hosting it pays.

Sound like they are being CHEAP!


Traditionally yes, its the grooms family that pays but they seems to be doing what they can

if your parents wont then try doing it yourself but be sure your parents names are not on the invite if they arent helping!

LOL...why not pay for it yourself? That's what my hubby and I did...it avoided LOTS of drama with our family members in that we didn't have to stress over who would do what...who would finance what.

We were in total control...no stress.

paid for my own wedding, but my parents and my fiance's parents chipped in and split the rehearsal dinner.

Typically the Groom's parents will be for the rehearsal. But if your parents havent paid for anything. They really should be picking up the tab.

i'm sorry! it typically is the groom's parents that pay for the rehearsal dinner, so your mom is technically right about that. but it sounds like his family is already helping you guys out. my parents paid for my wedding, but my husband's parents refused to do the rehearsal dinner, but then expected to be honored for being so helpful and wonderful (all his mom ever said throughout planning was "you never what's going to happen. this probably isn't going to last.") so i know what you're going through. if you and your fiance can swing it, you might as well pay for the dinner, because i doubt your mom is going to see it your way. you can always do something simple - a bbq at someone's house, go to a pizzeria, etc. it doesn't need to be too elegant. we just did ours at a bbq restaurant, and it was nice and relaxed and everyone was comfortable. you could also ask his parents if they could help you out with the cost.

and as far as the bridal shower goes, do you have any attendants that could take over planning duties? or aunts or cousins? i really don't think you should have to pay for that as well.

good luck, i hope you are able to get this all settled and have a beautiful wedding!