I've got a "groomzilla" on my hands, help?

Ladies, help please.... I have got a total groomzilla here, and it's getting to the point I don't even want to go through with the ceremony. He's refusing to help with any of the choices on anything, and making a point of critizing everything I do decide on.

We're having just about the world's smallest wedding.. LOL. There are going to be a total of 10 people involved if you count the JP and the photographer, and I have been really good about not spending hardly any money on this.

I got a damaged dress cheap, a clearance dress for my flower girl, no bridesmaids, no ushers, no catering, I made my invites, a FREE venue for the ceremony, and just a friend doing the photos.... he's still complaining about how much it's costing. And he knows how badly I want to do this, I have for a long time.

What the hell am I supposed to do here, I'm just heartbroken with his attitude, we've been together for 6 years with 2 kids..
It's just about to break us up for good.

Very nice helpful answers from all and some very good points to use, THANK YOU.

Just in my defense, he did say he wanted to get married before I started working on it.. :) Wasn't me just handing him an ultimatim. Feels that way now!

I would think long and hard about this. If he is cheap and criticizes everything now do you think you can handle that 5 - 10 years? Has he always been like this? Or maybe he just doesn't want to get married so he is being difficult so you will call off the wedding?

*I hate to tell you honey but I dont think his attitude has anything to do with your "cost effective" wedding. Maybe now that its really time to get married he is feeling pressured/scared and is having second thoughts. I hope that not the case, for your sake and your children. Sit down and calmly ask him how he is feeling. He may like the situation just how it is, and marriage may be too much pressure for him. Either way you need to talk to him if you are almost on the verge of breaking it off. Good luck to you!*

I'm sorry to hear that, like you said, its better you find out now :( Report Abuse

Explain to him, again if necessary, how important having the memories of a wedding is to you. And if his main concern is the money you're spending, explain to him what's left to buy (if not much! lol) that might help him feel better about the situation, instead of thinking "Man, she's already spent xx amount and the wedding is still 2 months away!", he'll think "okay, she's spent xx amount, but now the only thing left to pay for is the food".

Talk to him. You are obviously stressed out and having a bad time, just sit him down and tell him that you are doing everything as cheap as possible, but without his help, it is hard. And tell him that your wedding is supposed to be a dream day, but he is currently spoiling it and tell him how you feel about breaking up. It should shock him into action!! If not, he is not the right guy for you :(

You need to tell him how much his attitude is hurting you. Let him know that while he may think even a small wedding with minor trimmings is a waste, it's important to you and you would appreciate if he could be supportive, or at least quiet, about it.

P.S. I make mine watch the "Platinum Weddings" on WETV sometimes, makes him very thankful for how little we are spending...LOL...

Both of you are under a lot of stress. Seriously, weddings are just barely worth the effort they take to pull off. I'd say that you should declare a "no-wedding" day every week where no one is allowed to mention it or plan anything about it. Take some time to be together, not thinking about the wedding, just enjoying each other. Don't let one party swallow up a six year relationship.

He needs to work on his compromising skills....I mean you have cut all corners possible and he still isnt satisfied....you have options here....marry him and put up with this attitude or dont get married right now....you know that his behaviour is a red flag for whats to come. Is this who you really want to be with or are you just in love with the idea of getting married and having a wedding?

I think alot of people including men are full of talk!

Just imagine, I saw a drunken fat spectator at a recent soccer game yelling at the players "do this, do that.. i can run better, i can play better!!!"

This is another perfect case with your fiance. He thinks you're overspending and he can do better. Well then let him have an input and instead of just criticize, let him come up with real and better options. Otherwise tell him to just sit back and enjoy the ride and not nag unless he can validate it!

Good luck!

Been together 6 years and two kids?Forget the Celebration and spend the money on the kids.(food , child care ect.)
Just have a backyard ceremony and leave it at that.Besides,once you get married he's liable to split if your description is any judge of his character.

Explain to him why you need his help and tell him that this is supposed to be your best day!! If he is complaining about the cost he should see other weddings! Yours is a small one. I mean you said that you did everthing yourself so what is there that you are paying for?

i'm sorry to hear that. if he is tight with his money for this i'm sure it'll happen down the road with other things also. make sure your always able to stand on your own two feet. always make sure you are able to support yourself

Talk to him, he may just have a case of cold feet. Tell him this wedding is very cost efficiatnt compated to the $20,000 regualr total. Mine is $6000 with 70 guests!

Did he propose?

Well, it sounds like you're definitely plannign a cost-effective wedding, so I don't know what Groomzilla's bellyaching about. But then again, lots of guys don't even see why even the barest wedding necessities (dress, flower girl dress, etc.) have to be there. He'd probably rather just go to City Hall, plunk down 10 bucks for the marriage license, and call it a day. But I think your wedding is extremely reasonable and sounds lovely, the kind of wedding I'd like to plan. Maybe you need to talk to him to find out if cost really is the issue here, or if he's just getting cold feet for some other reason. After 6 years and 2 kids, I don't see what could cause him to fear a commitment like marriage, but guys are weird about weddings. Just talk to him and see what the real problem is, because I doubt it's your wedding expenses for real.

Haha! Wow! Good for you for getting all those good deals.

As for your man, I suggest you talk to him and tell him how you feel. I hate to say this, but he's being a typical groom. I learned the hard way that my future husband wants nothing to do with the planning of our wedding. He wants me to rent his tux and tell him where to show up and at what time. That's it.

Cut him some slack but mention that his attitude has you really questioning how he will behave when the ceremony is over and that it'd be nice if he'd lend you some support.

Holy moly! I can't totally see where this would hurt you. I would definetly be hurt. Sometimes you just need to stand up and give him a piece of your mind. Tell him he is hurting your feeling and making you feel crumby when he critisizes all of your hard work on trying to provide a small and affordable wedding. Give him a task to complete (something that effects him, like buying and picking out his own outfit for the wedding). Tell him that is his job, not yours. This may help keep him distraked from picking on everything you do. But, it could also back fire. He may say he will do it and just keep putting it off and making you worry about whether he has done it or not. WHAT A PAIN!

Wow...do you really really REALLY want to spend the rest of your life with a man who can degrade you and make you feel crappy for the rest of your life? I know you have two kids together but that is not a good reason to get married to a person like this. Since most of the things were free or low cost for your wedding, you may just want to take your losses, see the stuff on Craigs List and kick him out. You never know, things may change if you tell him this.

I am so sorry and I hope things get better. Take care of yourself.