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What is your best advice for other brides planning a wedding?



Whether you are in the midst of wedding planning now, or were happily wedded years ago, what tips, ideas or advice can you share with other brides? What do you wish you had done differently, or what are you glad you did? What unique, personal touches did you include in your own wedding? Do you have any cool ideas on: party favors, wedding party gifts, bridesmaids attire, invitations/programs, child attendants, showers/bachelor(ette) parties, the ceremony/vows/etc, wedding cake, photography/videography, the honeymoon? (These are just 'prompts' to spark your memory - you don't have to answer them all!!) I am finishing my wedding planner/workbook and would like to include tips from real-life brides. Your input and ideas would be a huge help!!

First off, congratulations on your upcoming marriage! May you have a healthy, happy union.

After being very happily married for 18+ years, my advise is this: You don't want the wedding to overshadow the marriage. A wedding is just for 1 day, but your marriage should last your lifetime. Rule number 1: Don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number 2: It's all small stuff. Don't get so wrapped up in the knitty gritty of wedding planning that you forget the most important reason which is why you're there in the first place. Good luck and best wishes to you both!
DETERMINE YOUR BUDGET AND STAY WITHIN IT
Not from me personally, but my friend was so rushed trying to get everything done that she didn't have time to enjoy her wedding.

My advice would be to plan every detail way in advance and make sure that you have someone that you totally trust to handle things on the actual day, so you don't have to think about anything, and you can enjoy your day in peace.
As a wedding vendor, you have a vested interest in fostering the "It's YOUR day for your DREAM wedding; do WHATEVER you want!" attitude and it's attendant orgy of self-indulgence and overspending. So you may not like advice from a Higher Authority, in the person of Judith Manners (aka Miss Manners). But I will post it here in the hope that a few brides will use their heads for something besides holding a veil up.

You, out there in Brideland, you sweet thing ... Are you planning your wedding so that it will be perfect in every detail? Do you expect it to be the happiest day of your life? Miss Manners sincerely hopes not.

Few of those who prattle about that "happiest day" seem to consider the dour expectations this suggests about the marriage from its second day on. They don't realize that a wedding reception is basically a large party, and is therefore not perfectible because there are too variables, not to mention too many people who one thought would not accept the invitation. At any rate, someone whose idea of ultimate happiness is a day spent at a big party, even spent being the center of attention at a very marvelous big party, is too immature to get married.

This notion of a wedding persists, often working directly against the purpose of a wedding, which is to create a new family, and not to put cracks and strains in old ones. Miss Manners' advice to young brides is to plan weddings that will be pretty and festive, but not to attempt to make them grand on a scale unrelated to the rest of their lives, and not to expect them to be perfect. Many an otherwise lovely bride has turned ugly attempting to create a "dream" occasion and to make everyone else conform with her conception of their roles in it.

A warning that one has strayed too far afield is an excessive preoccupation with everything's being done "right". Weddings are rare events in most people's lives, and Miss Manners has no objections to the participants' seeking advice on correct form. She dispenses such advice herself, right and left. But if one needs professional direction -- not just help or advice -- in every aspect of the wedding, it may mean that one hs wondered into completely foreign social territory and should think about heading home. One's wedding should be a heightened version of one's best social life, not an occasion for people to attempt to play grand and unfamiliar roles in a fantasy play.

Another warning about expecting a perfect day is that this carries a built-in potential for disappointment. (There are adults who go through life expecting other people to make their birthdays perfect for them and if you ever meet one of these, watch out. Nothing will ever be enough for them.)

What Miss Manners wishes all brides is NOT the happiest days of their lives, but a jolly gathering of family and friends, in which they are the object of general admiration but EVERYONE has a good time. They will then have some happiness left over with which to live happily every after.
Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior
Congratulations! The only thing that you have to remember is that this day is only about you and your husband to be, no one else. Just relax & try to focus on the reason you fell in love in the first place. That will help you stay calm and help you to remember why your really doing this to begin with. I wish I had more of a hand in planning my wedding though, things were nothing like I wanted them. Make sure that you dont settle for something you dont really care for. You'll end up regretting it later. It's your wedding and your choice. What you say goes. GoodLuck!
I have one tip.

My wedding was in 2004.

Instead of place cards and favors, we had a bunch of blank CD's made with our names, the date and a picture on it. Then we burned 10-12 songs that meant a lot to my husband and I on it. I put the CD's in semi-clear envelopes and slid in a card that I printed out with the same picture on it and the couples name and the word table on it. Then when we did table seating, my mom and I just wrote in marker the table number and we slid them into the sleeve with the CD. They were on the table near the guest book, and couples picked up the CD and knew where they sat. I got a lot of complements on the table card/favor.

My sister just got engaged and I can't wait to help her plan her wedding. I would love to be a wedding planner.
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